Have you ever wondered why something as natural as wearing
your own hair can feel so emotionally complicated?

Perhaps you've wanted to wear your natural hair more often
but are worried about how you'll be perceived.

Whether your hair would be accepted at work.

Whether men would find you attractive.

Whether humidity or rain would cause your hair to shrink and
change the style you'd carefully created that morning.

And perhaps, underneath all of those concerns, there is
something deeper...

Years of being made to feel that the hair growing naturally
from your head was wrong needed fixing.

If any of this feels familiar, this book was written for
women like you.

For many of us, this hair complication started long before
we had a choice

Before we were old enough to understand beauty standards,
some of us were already receiving messages about our hair.

That it was too difficult.

Too thick.

Too unruly.

Too much.

Too... everything.

That it needed to be "fixed," tamed, straightened,
hidden or changed before it could be considered beautiful.

Before the world could see it.

For some of us, these experiences were painful enough to
leave lasting emotional scars.

And when a little girl repeatedly receives the message that
something naturally hers needs correcting, she may not simply learn to dislike
her hair.

She can begin to question herself.

This is why natural hair celebration at home matters.

A girl who grows up seeing her natural features celebrated
begins her journey from a very different place from one who learns early that
acceptance depends on changing those features.

The messages don't stop. They change.

Are your edges laid?

Is your hair defined enough?

Is it too shrunken?

Does the style look "finished"?

Going somewhere without achieving a polished style can
create genuine anxiety.

And sometimes we avoid wearing our natural hair altogether
because we don't feel able to create the styles we believe we need in order to
look beautiful.

Some girls are even mocked or bullied when their natural
hair doesn't meet the expectations placed upon them.

Something that should simply be an ordinary part of being
themselves can become a source of anxiety.

Natural hair has its own practical realities

Humidity.

Rain.

Shrinkage.

Depending on the style, natural hair doesn't always require
a lot of time, but it does require knowledge and care.

Some women also experience hair loss conditions such as
alopecia areata, adding another deeply personal dimension to their relationship
with their hair.

Somewhere along the way, many of us have been taught that
when our hair doesn't behave exactly as planned, we have somehow failed.

Somewhere along the way, humidity has become something to
fear.

Rain has become something to dread.

Going somewhere without achieving a polished style can
create genuine anxiety.

And sometimes we avoid wearing our natural hair altogether
because we don't feel able to create the styles we believe we need in order to
look beautiful.

Perhaps the question isn't simply:

How do I stop my hair from shrinking?

Perhaps we also need to ask:

Why have I been made to feel so anxious when it does shrink?

Then we enter spaces where acceptance can feel uncertain

The workplace.

Interviews.

Weddings.

Dates.

Professional events.

Certain social spaces.

And suddenly, a decision that should be entirely personal
can become loaded with questions:

Will they think I look professional?

Will people treat me differently?

Will my hair be accepted here?

Some women feel completely comfortable wearing their natural
hair in one environment and far less confident in another.

Because confidence isn't always something we either have or
don't have.

Sometimes, it changes depending on where we are—and whose
approval we believe we need.

And then there is the question of attraction

For some black women, one of the deepest concerns about
wearing their natural hair is how they will be perceived by black men.

Will I still be considered attractive?

Will I still be seen as feminine?

Will the men I am attracted to be attracted to me?

These concerns haven't appeared from nowhere.

None of us develop our ideas of beauty in isolation.

Just as black women have grown up surrounded by messages
about which hair textures and styles are considered beautiful, black men can
grow up absorbing many of those same messages too.

Some black men have also spoken about their own experiences
of being made to feel that their natural hair needed to be cut, controlled or
covered in order to be considered acceptable.

Perhaps the issue has never simply been about what black men
find attractive.

Perhaps we need to ask a deeper question:

What have all of us been taught to see as attractive in the
first place?

When generations of people rarely see black women celebrated
with their natural hair exactly as it grows, those messages can shape how we
see ourselves—and how we see each other.

And all the while, where do we see ourselves?

Open a magazine.

Watch a film.

Look at advertising.

Even look at much of the entertainment created for black
audiences.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP TOWARD HAIR FREEDOM

Confidence and wellbeing are more closely connected than we might realise.  

For generations, black women have been encouraged to alter,
cover and conceal the hair that grows naturally from our heads.

But increasingly, questions are also being raised about the
potential health implications associated with some hair products and practices
we have come to rely upon.

This book isn't here to tell you that how you wear your hair
doesn't matter.

We believe it does matter.

Your hair choices should not be driven by shame, fear or the
belief that your natural hair is somehow less beautiful or acceptable.

And as we learn more about the potential health implications
associated with some hair products and practices, perhaps there has never been
a more important time to reconsider our relationship with our natural hair.

This isn't about judgement.

It's about asking why so many black women have been made to
feel that moving away from their natural hair is necessary in the first
place—and what it might mean for us, emotionally and physically, to begin
finding our way back to it.

What if you could begin to see your natural hair
differently?

Not because somebody told you that you should love it.

But because you began to understand why you were ever taught
not to.

Inside Before We Become Extinct: How Do I Get the Confidence
to Wear My Natural Woolly Hair?, we explore the beliefs, experiences and
cultural messages that have shaped black women's relationship with natural
hair—and invite you to begin examining your own.

This book is for the woman who wants to feel freer in her
choices.

For the woman who is natural but still doesn't always feel
confident.

For the woman who wants to go natural but worries about how
she'll be received.

By family.

By friends.

By work colleagues.

For the woman who has spent years believing that certain
hairstyles were meant for other women—but never for her.

And for the woman who simply wants her relationship with her
hair to feel less complicated.

Your hair doesn't need permission to exist as it grows.

If you're ready to understand why you don't need to feel
anxious about wearing your natural hair—and begin letting go of the beliefs
that have affected your confidence to wear it—Before We Become Extinct: How Do
I Get the Confidence to Wear My Natural Woolly Hair? was written for you.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP TOWARD HAIR FREEDOM

How often do we see black women simply existing with their
natural texture - without it being covered, straightened, manipulated or
transformed into a texture considered more socially acceptable?

Representation has improved.

But many of us grew up rarely seeing our natural hair
presented as an unquestioned standard of beauty.

And when you rarely see yourself reflected in the beauty
around you, it can become difficult to recognise the beauty that was there all
along.

Hair can begin to carry far more than hair should ever have
to carry

Beauty.

Femininity.

Professionalism.

Desirability.

Belonging.

Acceptance.

Even our sense of value.

And when so much of how we believe we'll be perceived
becomes tied to our hair, it's hardly surprising that anxiety can follow.

You may know intellectually that your hair doesn't determine
your worth.

But knowing something and feeling it are not always the same
thing—particularly when society so often continues to communicate the message
that a black woman's value is tied to how she wears her hair.

The problem was never your hair

You were not born believing that your hair was unattractive.

You learned what the world around you considered beautiful.

You absorbed messages—from family, school, media,
workplaces, relationships and wider society.

And anything that can be learned can at least begin to be
questioned.

This is where Before We Become Extinct: How Do I Get the
Confidence to Wear My Natural Woolly Hair? begins.

  • Embrace natural hair freedom

    This book invites you to challenge the narratives that have
    shaped how you see your hair, calling you back to the truth about your hair.

  • Step into bold, unapologetic confidence

    With seven practical steps to wool confidence and ten
    empowering tips for wearing your natural hair, this book equips you with the
    tools to move from anxiety to assurance. Whether you:

    • currently wear your natural hair, but with a little
    anxiety here and there

    • once wore your hair proudly, then returned to hair alternatives, or

    • have never dared to wear your natural woolly hair,

    this guide will help you embrace hair freedom - and keep it.

  • Rediscover the power of your identity

    This is more than a book about hair. It provides the keys to self-acceptance.
    Through heartfelt insight and honest reflection, the authors explore the
    emotional and spiritual connections between fear, love, and woolly hair
    confidence.

  • Break free from limiting beliefs

    Your
    natural hair has been shamed for too long by standards of beauty that
    encouraged you to believe limiting ideas about yourself. This book will help
    you let go of those beliefs and view your hair through new eyes. Each page
    reminds you that your natural woolly hair is something you should be proud to
    honour.

From the BWBE Blog

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